Every now and again, when I mention that I write BDSM, I get funny looks. Inevitably, the next thing I hear is, “Why would anyone get into that? Who wants to be bossed around? Especially in bed?”

Which is true. We associate getting bossed around with crabby older sisters, supervisors at work, and other unpleasant folks. Not really sexy ideas there.

Fortunately, BDSM isn’t about getting bossed around. Instead, it’s about letting go of control, giving it to someone else so that you are, in a sense, free. There are no decisions to make, because someone’s making them for you. There’s no guilt, because you aren’t calling the shots. No self-consciousness, because again, someone else is making the call.

Imagine, if you will, a small tragedy. Someone got hurt, and is in the hospital. They’re going to be okay, but you’ve had an emotional wringer of a day. You just want to stumble home, but there’s so much to deal with.

Then some saint of a family member comes along. He tells you to go home. He’ll handle the paperwork, and sit with the person that got hurt. You want to protest, of course, that you should do it all, because you’ll feel guilty otherwise. But the look in his eyes stops you. Go home, he says. Go rest. I will take care of it. I’ll carry the burden. You put it down for a while.

It’s an extreme example, but it’s right at the heart of Dominance and submission. In the above situation, the guilt has a chance to go away, as does the stress. Someone else is handling it. For just a little while, even just the couple hours it takes you to go and get some food and a hot shower, you don’t have to worry.

Dominance and submission are about trust. You trust the other person not to ask, or do, anything that you wouldn’t want to. You trust that they’ll take care of you, make you feel good, and give you the chance to just let go. They aren’t bossing you around. You’re allowing them control for a short time, and you trust that they’ll give it back.

It’s called “power exchange”. It can be sweet, intense, or very emotional, depending on what’s agreed upon. And it’s found in a lot of unexpected places, from BDSM books to urban fantasy. Werewolves have a certain element of Dominance to them, as do vampires.

Power exchange is what Meghan’s Submission is about. A woman wants to let go, and trusts a man to give her what she needs. And a man wants to give her that freedom and take care of her. It’s sweet, loving, and changes both their lives for the better.
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Cassandra Moore

Vampire Oracle: New Life – Coming in October from Cobblestone Press!
Taint of Shadow – Coming soon from Cobblestone Press!
http://www.cassandra-moore.com

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the sunshine you’ve bestowed upon us poor Irish folks. I got a tan today, a TAN! Summer is officially here!

But I still have to work. And write. Ick. Writing is like pulling teeth at the moment. I’m doing a challenge on RD, 5 pages a day, and so far I haven’t missed my goal. But it’s hard, especially when the muse won’t work with me. *sigh*

Maybe tonight’s new episodes of Ugly Betty and Bones will provide a surge of inspiration.

Speaking of Bones, was that mistletoe kiss hot or what?

Squeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so excited. I can’t stop staring at my book cover in three different sizes, and my button and my avatar and my bookmark and my business card and my desktop image….I love Sable Grey!

Now that I have my cover art package, it’s really hitting home how close my release date is. The 4th of July.

Okay, so it’s not that close, but seriously, the next couple of months will fly. I can’t believe we’ve hit May already.

So an excerpt will definitely go up some time this week. And I need to work out some kind of promotion plan. And maybe a contest. I love doing contests.

But first, I need to listen to that new Lenny Kravitz song again. I am loving that track. I’ll Be Waiting.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Eek! I don’t know how I managed it. Three days off from work, and I filled them with my work in progress. It’s a menage/shapeshifter/BDSM/twisted fairytale story that I originally expected to be around 15k, but is currently nearing 30k.

I should be finished over the next couple of days and then it’s polish time. (Which is never fun, but absolutely necessary.)

The words are still coming, albeit, not at the same rate as they were last week. But it would be wishful thinking that 5k a day would continue.

I’m still managing a steady 1-2k a day and the wordcount is rising nicely. The only thing I’m battling with at the moment is a plot-point that I’m not sure will work. I won’t know until I actually write it so I better get on that.

Hope you’re having a good start to your week. And here’s a pic to make you sigh.